Husband Vs Wife

Husband: Do you know the meaning of WIFE?
It means, Without Information, Fighting Everytime!
Wife: No darling, it means,
With Idiot For Ever
************ ********* ********* ********* ********* *********

Wife: I wish I was a newspaper,
So I'd be in your hands all day.
Husband: I too wish that you were a newspaper,
So I could have a new one everyday.
************ ********* ********* ********* ********* *********

Doctor: Your husband needs rest and peace. Here are some sleeping
Pills.
Wife: When must I give them to him?
Doctor: They are for you
************ ********* ********* ********* ********* *********

Wife: I had to marry you to find out how stupid you are.
Husband: You should have known it the minute
I asked you to marry me.
************ ********* ********* ********* ********* *********

Husband: Today is Sunday & I have to enjoy it.
So I bought 3 movie tickets.
Wife: Why Three?
Husband: For you and your parents
************ ********* ********* ********* ********* *********

Wife: What will you give me if I climb the great Mount Everest?
Husband: A lovely Push...!!!
************ ********* ********* ********* ********* *********

Q: What is the most effective way to remember your wife's birthday?
A: Just forget it once and you will never forget it again
************ ********* ********* ********* ********* *********

After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband,
You know, I was a fool when I married you.
The husband replied, "Yes dear, but I was in love and didn't notice

African Roads

Secret Of A Happy Married Life By A Man

Once X asked Y, "What is the secret behind your happy married life?"

Y said, "You should share responsibilities with due love and respect to each other. Then absolutely there will be no problems."

X asked, "Can you explain?"Y said, "In my house, I take decisions on bigger issues where as my wife decides on smaller issues. We do not interfere in each other's decisions."

Still not convinced, X asked Y "Give me some examples"

Y said, "Smaller issues like which car we should buy, how much amount to save, when to visit home town, which Sofa, air conditioner, refrigerator to buy, monthly expenses, whether to keep a maid or not etc are decided by my wife. I just agree to it"

X asked, "Then what is your role?"

Y said, "My decisions are only for very big issues. Like whether America should attack Iraq, whether Britain should lift sanction over Zimbabwe, whether to widen African economy, whether Sachin Tendulkar should retire etc. Do you know one thing, my wife NEVER objects to any of these".

What is Love??? - [Fwd. By Qamar Sayed]

A girl and boy were speeding over 100 mph down the road on a motorcycle.

This is the conversation they had...

Girl: Slow down. I'm scared.

Boy: No this is fun!

Girl: No it's not. Please, we're going too fast!

Boy: Then tell me you 'love me' and I will slow down.

Girl: Fine, "I love you". Slow down!

Boy: Now give me a 'BIG' & 'Tight' hug.

*Girl hugs him*

Boy: Can you take my helmet off and put it on? Its bugging me.

In the paper, the next day:

"A motorcycle had crashed into a building because of break failure. Two ppl were in the accident, but only one survived".

The truth was that halfway down the road, the boy realized that his breaks went out, but he didn't want to let the girl know. Instead, he had her say she Loved him and felt her Hug one last time, then had her wear his Helmet so that she would live even though it meant that he would Die.

"Love is not selfish so Love is not being happy, It is to make happy whom you love even if you are unhappy with it".

"For you see, no one really knows what tomorrow holds in store for you, you might not live to see the next day. And sometimes you have to tell someone something, but run out of time to do so. So take five minutes out of your time to tell someone you love them because you really never know if this is the "LAST DAY OF YOUR LIFE".

Lazy Babies :)